Carlsbad Tavern

I am sitting in a hotel room in Scottsdale, Arizona, specifically a Hampton Inn, a little bit buzzed to tell the truth, wondering why I had to travel all this way to order for dinner what was essentially a BBQ quesadilla. The special at Carlsbad Tavern tonight was a quesadilla made from carne adovada – roast pork in red chili sauce with cheese and tortillas. It was quite tasty. Add some slaw and you've really got something. Shouldn't a BBQ quesadilla be a commonplace menu item at most restaurants in my hometown? Is it? Did I just not notice? This seems like an easy money maker. Sorry I didn't bring my camera, but I wasn't expecting the need. Here's Carlsbad Tavern during the day. It's impossible to find at night.

Dinner was good, but a lot of my time was spent listening to a complete tool whose voice carried like a train whistle ramble on and on to his date about how much he worked out, where he worked out, how she looked like his mom, and that his brother was a complete asshole while the poor, poor girl tried to be polite and I tried to reread Bluebeard for the first time since high school. Bastard.

Friday Night Videos

Kurt Vonnegut died. Apparently, everyone on the Interweb was a fan. That's nice. It seems also that everyone with a blog is obligated to eulogize him. I suppose that's nice too. To be fair, I'd like to do the same. I loved the man. In fact, I've spent two days trying to figure out how to draw a connection between one of the greatest writers I'll ever read and the subject of this blog. I suspect that Mr. Vonnegut could have managed, but I can't. I'm not that clever.

So, in celebration of the absurdity of the human condition, here is Paul McCartney making mashed potatoes. It's not BBQ. It has nothing to do with Mr. Vonnegut. I'm not sure it's even cooking. But, it is ridiculous. And, it is funny. In better words, "No damn cat, no damn cradle."

$100.00 BBQ

I can't say that I'm surprised these sandwiches aren't a big seller. While I appreciate both the excess and the experimentation, a BBQ pork, smoked foie gras and balsamic vinegar sammich doesn't sound particularly appetizing to me. However, I am 100% behind the choice of beer to wash it down.

America's Test Kitchen

For those of us who both like to cook and like to believe there is a best way to do everything, the show America's Test Kitchen is great. Every week, they report on items like the best way to cook blueberry muffins or chicken noodle soup, or the best measuring spoons or the best brand of refried beans. Yes, it's geeky, and I'm sure the idea of devoting time to finding the best method for basting a chicken sounds terribly silly to most. I know finding the best way to brush your teeth or fold a towel isn't as important as finding the best way to build a bridge or educate children or extricate ourselves from Iraq. However, I think that if we as a society devoted more time to quality in all things no matter how trivial we might not be mired in the cavalcade of mediocrity that is American Idol, Wal-mart, NASCAR, and our last three presidents.

Wow, how did I rant myself into that corner? Back to the show. This week on ATK, they covered barbecue. Well, sort of. The results were less than appetizing to this Memphis boy, but I think they found the best way to cook ribs in the oven. I have absolutely no idea why anyone would ever want to do this. Although, the method was kind of interesting. They used tea leaves on the bottom of a sheet pan to generate smoke, put the ribs on a rack and wrapped it all in foil. It sure as hell beats the guy on Cookin' in Brooklyn who (no lie) boiled the ribs first. Shudder. And though it's not what I'm aiming for with The Sauce, they also made a 20-minute BBQ sauce of primarily ketchup, mustard and molasses that looked like it might have been good.

The point of all of this rambling is that I'm going to spend some time cooking BBQ sauce recipes other than my own. I'm starting here with the ATK sauce, and then I'll work my way through some of that book I bought not too long ago. Results to follow.

Meat News

The Memphis Business Journal did a blurb about Dixie Meat on Jefferson this week. I wasn't aware that they are open to the public – or maybe I was and just forgot. Have either of the two people reading this ever bought anything there? Worth the trouble? BTW, I love that they have a section of their website titled Meat News.

Friday Night Videos

You drive with it on! Don't forget to tighten the rotation knob.

Ridin' the Rails

Here's another crazy BBQ contraption because I don't feel like writing.

Euro BBQ

A tiny, MP3 playing, ridiculously expensive, retro-styled grill named the Memphis Barbecue is the kind of thing that would sell well only among our friends across the pond, but so help me, if I had £230 burning a hole in my pocket, I might just have to buy one.

Friday Night Videos

I guess this fella realized I was working too hard and decided to help me out with today's video post.

Welcome to Memphis
Memphis Street Blues

Thanks, Allen. Welcome to the big M.

Poetry

This Just In

Roller derby fan and Interweb bon vivant, DW, alerted me to the Jeppe Utzon BBQ. Couldn't we all use a new $7100 grill that looks like a… well… a $10 card table? Mind altering? Swanky? I think not. {more}

Friday Night Videos

There is no way this place can be any good, but the video inspires me to open up my own BBQ joint. If these tools can do it, this tool certainly can.

BBQ Puffs

Where do I begin? I may have mentioned my love of takoyaki before. If you've never tried it, do. In Memphis, you can get it as an appetizer at Sekisui Pacific Rim on Poplar. If anyone knows of another option, please speak up, but the folks at Pacific Rim are big supporters of the Memphis Roller Derby so give them a try. They put a special Z-girl sushi roll on the menu in honor of my wife's team, the Legion of Zoom, who happen to have a bout this Saturday night. Get your tickets!

Anyway, I'm watching one of my 22 hours of daily TV and run across the best commercial I've seen in a long time – Pancake Puffs! Two thoughts immediately sprang to my mind: 1) I must get up now and order a Pancake Puff Pan, and 2) I wish I was the genius who thought of a way to market takoyaki pans to Americans. "Order today and get an additional Pancake Puff Pan at 25% off the regular price!" Don't mind if I do.

Wikipedia soon informed me that these are actually æbleskiver pans used for making Danish stuffed pancakes. Not much marketing genius there, but of course, I still want to buy a couple. However, I decided that ordering one actual takoyaki pan instead of two Pancake Puff Pans was probably more economical.

Soon, I will be making 15 takoyaki at a time. As a variation, I intend to replace the cubes of boiled octopus with some BBQ pork shoulder and cover the whole mess in The Sauce. Do you think the folks at Memphis in May will appreciate some BBQ Puffs? I suppose I should try to make some Pancake Puffs too. My doctor said those would be good for my diabetes.

The quality of the video on the Pancake Puff website is much better than this, but I love that this goofball picked up his video camera to record the commercial for YouTube:

Another Nail in Corky's Coffin

A link arrives today courtesy of Brain's Brian which further discredits an establishment often purported to be the best Memphis has to offer in terms of barbecue.

Am I wrong in condemning any BBQ sauce that comes in a packet?

Neely's Bar-B-Que

Not long ago in response to the naming of Patrick Neely as restaurateur of the year, EC and I visited Neely's West for lunch. I've been a few times over the years and enjoyed the food, but it's not a common hang out. They were packed at lunch time. Service was a bit slow, but friendly and accurate. I ordered a small sandwich and beans. EC had beans, fries and a sandwich sans slaw. I spent the entire meal chastising him for that, so I won't do it here. In fact, I'm not really a fan of their slaw. It's too green. I probably wouldn't put them in my top 5, but we had a good meal. I really liked the beans.

The main impetus for this review is to point out an interesting characteristic of their BBQ sauce. It tastes of prunes. Neely's grocery store sauce was widely panned by the participants of our recent tasting, but the restaurant sauce was much more pleasant. I think that trying to replicate that prune-like flavor for the bottle is what makes the store bought sauce so unpalatable. I don't want The Sauce to taste of prunes, but I now have an idea involving molasses, pomegranates, some string, a two-by-four, and the element of surprise.

BTW, It's very dark in there.

Blasphemy or Genius?

Courtesy of Click (Daily).

Friday Night Videos

Our first Friday Night Montage. This guy's a piece of work.

Bar-B-Palooza 2007 Results

Much like presidenting, maintaining a blog is hard. At least, doing so well is hard. It requires commitment, enthusiasm and sustained interest. As a man who is routinely too distracted to complete more than the first three chapters of any book, I mostly lack those qualities. Therefore, long after the one person who clamored for me to post the data collected at Bar-B-Palooza 2007 has lost interest, here it is:

     {Download Results}

It's a chart that averages all of the ratings given by those who participated in Bar-B-Palooza 2007. The highest scores in each category are marked in green and lowest in red. This was a blind tasting, and in case you're interested, here is the questionnaire we used.

Several things surprised me. Neely's scored lower than even Schnucks Multi-Purpose Meat Sauce, but no one had a bad thing to say about the restaurant. Tops scored low as well, but I was less surprised as the sauce is ridiculously sour and requires both pork and slaw for the full effect. Three Little Pigs and The Sauce tied for sweetness despite the former being almost as tangy as Tops. My entire approach has been to limit sweetness. It looks like I've failed there. The biggest surprise was perhaps that the Commissary scored the highest in overall tastiness. This could be because we tasted the sauces sans pork, bun and slaw which can be a bit jarring.

What did I learn? Not much really. There was nothing scientific or statistically accurate about the event. It was just fun. I did learn that I have way too many friends who like the Bar-B-Q Shop, and several of them don't know the difference between sweet and sour.

Thanks to everyone who participated.

Ego Alieno

As a kid, I was often distracted and awfully forgetful. In the winter I left my jacket at school almost every day. In the summer, I'd forget to come inside for lunch. I could never answer the question, "Where is your little brother?" I forgot to get my homework. I forgot to do my homework. I forgot to take my homework back to school. And, I still can't find that peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Things haven't improved as I grow older.

Bar-B-Palooza 2007 occurred two weeks ago Sunday. I've waited too long to write a post detailing the event. I'm not really sure what fun things we did or what witty things were said. I know that Click (Daily) was the most gracious of hosts. I know that we ate some damn fine pork shoulder (thanks RA). I also know that RA couldn't join the party because the baby was sick. RJA was there. (Unfortunately, he reads this blog and invited himself.) We ate more BBQ sauce than really should be eaten. The monkeys ran around like, well, monkeys. Miss M and the dog did not become fast friends. We made a big mess. And as always, E and I were the last to leave.

Here are a few snapshots that I don't remember taking:

Friday Night Videos

Sexy BBQ. Local commercials are the best.